


in the cold, cold night

by actuallyshua



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Dialogue Heavy, Fluff, Love at First Sight, M/M, Mental Health Issues, WAIT THERES MORE, Winter, oh i almost forgot, other members briefly mentioned, this is a jarki fic so, writing a winter fic in october? YOU BET
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-08
Updated: 2019-10-08
Packaged: 2020-11-27 12:49:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20948603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/actuallyshua/pseuds/actuallyshua
Summary: Winter, to Jeonghan, meant waking up 30 minutes early simply because he had to put on 4 extra layers. It meant piles of dirty snow on curbs, pushed up from the tow trucks. It meant frantic slipping on their building steps as children walked by and laughed at him.Jeonghan hated winter.Or-Jeonghan finds the beauty in winter.





	in the cold, cold night

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pinkwinwin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkwinwin/gifts).

> for my dearest friend [shauna](https://twitter.com/pinkwinwin)
> 
> i don't usually include music with fics  
but i listened to [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dIL32SpQV-w) on repeat as i wrote this 
> 
> so feel free to do the same 
> 
> thank you for your friendship and love, shauna. you make my life so much brighter. 
> 
> please enjoy.

Jeonghan had always imagined he would die a very, very, very old man. 

He would be in a comfortable bed, surrounded by his loved ones. The tears that would fall from their eyes would be wiped away, he would tell them not to mourn for too long. His life had been long, fulfilling. He had done everything that he wanted to do. 

Left no stone unturned or path untaken. 

But here, in this moment, his mind was starting to change. 

Maybe he would die at the ripe age of 24. 

In his puke green, '96 Kia Sportage with a hole in his mitten and scowl on his face. 

If he was going to die here, he wished he had brought a different outfit to change into. It was going to be awfully embarrassing to be pulled out of his car in this horrid uniform. There were coffee stains all over it and his socks didn't even match. 

Jeonghan tugged his scarf tighter around his neck and reached for his phone, resting neatly in the passenger seat. 

4%.

And a mere hour and a half until the tow truck was supposed to arrive. 

Yes. He was going to die here. 

The cold had a funny way of cutting through all his layers of clothing, burying under his skin, and nestling harshly atop all of his bones. 

Endless shivers erupted over him, never letting him sit still for longer than 30 seconds. With a huff, he tossed his phone to the side and leaned his head back, eyeing out the window where the gentle flakes were falling beside him. 

Jeonghan hated winter. 

He'd heard about its beauty from the rose-colored glasses of his roommate, Joshua, and said roommates boyfriend. The two, unlike most flowers, seemed to bloom in winter. With their cheesy dates to ice skating rinks and Christmas-themed movie nights on the couch they all shared. Mugs of hot chocolate and walking into the apartment with noses painted red, smiles wide and clothes damp from a snowball fight. 

Jeonghan supposed it was cute. He did enjoy the way that Joshua would smile when Wonwoo got tangled up in the strings of lights and tinsel. 

But he never got to see that beauty for himself. 

Winter, to Jeonghan, meant waking up 30 minutes early simply because he had to put on 4 extra layers. It meant piles of dirty snow on curbs, pushed up from the tow trucks. It meant frantic slipping on their building steps as children walked by and laughed at him. 

It meant this moment. 

This moment of a horrible day turned horrible night. 

Like the time, most cars passed by him without even a second glance. They didn't owe him anything, not even a brake tap to see if he was still breathing. He thought of himself in their shoes. If he was sitting in car, a working car, with heat and radio, and he saw a brooding, moody, scowling twenty-something sitting in a broken down heap of metal, he would also keep trucking. 

Jeonghan probably looked more menacing than anything. 

Maybe he could take a nap. 

Closing his eyes, he tried with desperation to ignore the frigidness of his surroundings, to imagine himself in his bed, with his three blankets, fuzzy socks, and the distant sounds of whatever movie Joshua and Wonwoo were staying up far too late watching.

It _almost_ worked. 

But then. There was red. 

A strange, almost eerie, shade of red that took over his vision. 

Jeonghan opened his eyes, surprised to see brake lights in front of him. 

It wasn't the tow truck. It was far too small and he was almost 100% sure that they wouldn't show up early. If anything, they would probably be late. The man he spoke to on the phone seemed half-asleep and rather annoyed with Jeonghan's late night request. 

Jeonghan perked up when he saw the body exit the drivers seat, scarf wrapped around their neck and covering most of their face. They moved with haste, wrapping their arms around themselves as they lighted jogged to Jeonghan's car. 

With no windows to roll down, no power to move them, he had no choice but to open the door, letting even more of the cold air in.

"Are you okay?" A gentle voice came from behind the knit scarf. 

"I'm broken down. But I have a tow truck on the way." 

He was happy for even the slightest bit of concern. 

"Do you have much longer? The temperature is only going to drop." 

Jeonghan watched the stranger shiver, bouncing back and forth from foot to foot, "Well, if you consider an hour and half, roughly, to be much longer." 

A small laugh, muffled, "Do you want to come sit in my car? It can't be much older than yours but it's, well you know, running." 

Jeonghan mulled the option over in his mind for a moment. He couldn't see much of the person in front of him. But he could see his eyes. 

His eyes that seemed to be reflecting the very snow he was standing on. They were swirling with life and smiles and kindness that Jeonghan decided wouldn't get him murdered. 

"That would be amazing." 

And with that, Jeonghan quickly gathered his things and did the same weak jog across the ice and snow to the running car in front of his own. 

As soon as the door was opened, he was greeted with warmth and soft music that he didn't recognize, but that part didn't matter. It was warm. So, so, so warm. 

"Thank you so much for this. I was starting to think I was going to d-" Jeonghan stopped as he looked to the drivers seat, the scarf now gone, the smile behind the words visible. And oh, what a beautiful smile it was, "Um. Die. I thought I was going to die." 

"No worries. Apple cider?" A thermos was held up and Jeonghan really didn't care for apple cider all that much, but he nodded. 

"Thanks. Um, you don't have to stay the entire time. It might be a bit of a long wait." 

"Please," He waved a hand, "I've got nothing better to do. I'm Junhui, by the way." 

Junhui. 

The name melted over Jeonghan's mind like the cold was melting off of his bones. 

"Jeonghan." 

He watched Junhui out of the corner of his eye as he sipped the apple cider, the liquid filling his empty stomach almost immediately and ridding him of the last lingering bits of cold. He was drumming on his steering wheel lightly with gloved fingers, humming gently as he did so. There was a small flake of snow on his cheek, quickly melting into a water drop that fell in the blink of an eye. 

With the snow falling out the window behind him, his portrait looked almost beautiful. 

Poetic. Kind of like those movies he'd always roll his eyes through. 

"I usually love the snow," Junhui spoke up, Jeonghan capping the cider, "But this is a bit much. I think they said it's just going to keep coming down for the next two days." 

Jeonghan huffed, "Of course. I don't think I'll ever understand how anyone could like the snow." 

This made Junhui laugh, for whatever reason, "Oh, come on! It's not all that bad. What about making snow angels?"

"Your back gets all wet."

"Fair. Snow ball fights?"

"Someone always takes it too seriously and I get hurt."

"Alright. Oh," Junhui clapped his hands together, "Building a snowman!" 

"That takes far too long." 

"Hm. Tough crowd. Alright, here's one. Nothing beats being all snuggled up on the couch, a mug of tea, and a nice Christmas movie playing while the snow falls outside. You can watch it through the window and be at peace knowing that you're inside, nice and toasty." Junhui wrapped his arms around himself after he finished, childishly rocking back and forth in his seat. 

Jeonghan couldn't help but smile at this, at all of it, "You and my roommate would get along swimmingly." 

"You don't disagree?" 

"I can neither confirm nor deny that I would enjoy that." 

Another laugh, sounding more like music to Jeonghan's ears than what was coming from the radio, "You're hard to please." 

"I'm a warm body. Spring and summer are so much nicer than this. I mean," He leaned his head back again, except Junhui's car seemed much more comfortable than his own, "Flowers blooming, birds chirping, being able to walk down the sidewalk without falling on my face. What's not to love?" 

"The humidity. The sunburns. The sweat. The fact that the ice in my iced coffee melts almost immediately." Junhui stated smartly.

"Okay, okay." 

"The lines at amusement parks are always way too long. My air conditioning bill goes through the roof."

"Alright," Jeonghan couldn't suppress his laughter, "Alright, I get it. Let's just agree to disagree." 

Junhui hummed and nodded, seeming to drop the subject. Silence surrounded them for a few moments after this. It wasn't uncomfortable or awkward like Jeonghan feared it might be. It was comfortable, and the heat coming from the vents made Jeonghan feel like he was sitting under a thick blanket. 

They passed the thermos back and forth, Junhui flipping through the radio stations every so often. 

Jeonghan was trying not to stare at him.

But the way his hair would fall into face and he'd delicately move it, the way he would trace the snowflakes on his window for a fraction of a second. It was almost impossible not to gawk. His movements and wide eyes were childlike. 

Junhui was _odd_. 

He turned and caught Jeonghan staring at him. 

He did not speak. He just smiled. 

Junhui was _beautiful_. 

"So," Jeonghan cleared his throat, looking forward in hopes to hide the flushing of his cheeks, "What do you do?" 

"I'm a dance instructor at my friend's studio! I teach ages 5 to 7 and then 15 to 17." 

Jeonghan imagined Junhui dancing with a group of children. How his laughter probably brought them joy, how his words were probably so gentle to them. How the older teens probably trusted him with so much, felt comfortable with him. A lot of probabilities. Jeonghan figured them all to be true.

"That's really cool. How long have you been dancing?" 

"Since I was little. I never really thought I'd make a career out of it," He paused to take a sip, "But I'm really happy that I did. What about you?" 

"Oh, you know. Just a sparkling job as a barista. I'm hoping to go back to school someday but," Jeonghan stopped, testing Junhui's waters, how far he could really dive, "I'm not sure."

The smile was instant and Jeonghan knew he was under the water now. 

"You should! You seem very level-headed. What would you want to study?" 

"Thank you. I'd like to maybe get into medicine. Not a doctor, I don't think I could handle that. But being a nurse is always something I've thought about." 

Junhui nodded a few times, "That's awesome. It takes a special person to get into the medical field. I practically hit the floor at the very mention of needles, so hats off to you." 

"Oh, you're one of those?" Jeonghan spoke, playfulness dripping off of each word. 

Junhui faked offense, scrunching his face up dramatically, "Rude. Needles are terrifying!" 

Once again, their words bounced back and forth like a ping pong ball. It was as if he was speaking with an old friend, like he was having dinner in his apartment with Joshua. It was unnaturally natural, if that could even be said. 

Maybe it was the warmth of the car. 

Or maybe it was the apple cider.

But Jeonghan would bet money on the fact that it was Junhui's laugh and the way he smiled all the way up to his eyes. 

Jeonghan learned more about Junhui as the minutes ticked by. He learned that he moved here from China with his childhood friend Minghao, the same friend who owned the dance studio. He learned that he liked to sing to himself when the conversation would lull. He learned that he had a cat named Ketchup at home who liked to sleep on Junhui's face at night.

He learned that he wanted to learn so much more.

"Why do you really like winter? I mean, aside from the snow angels and snow men and all that. What's really to love about it?" Jeonghan asked after their light laughter had died down. 

Junhui was quiet for a moment, looking out the window before turning back to Jeonghan. 

"It's quiet. Sometimes, things just get," He stopped, Jeonghan hanging onto every syllable, "So loud. And maybe it's just in my head. I don't know. I haven't really figured that out. But in winter, it's silent. You don't have to think about anything, don't have to hear anything." 

His voice sounded different, not bright and cheery like it had before. 

It was hesitant and strained, like he was unsure of the words he was saying. Unsure of himself. 

Jeonghan resisted the urge to touch his hand, to hold it. 

"I'm sorry. That was a l-" 

Junhui started but Jeonghan was quick to cut him off, "No. Don't be sorry. That makes a lot of sense. Summer can be kind of hectic. Loud." 

"Yeah. Yeah, exactly. I take walks sometimes. Minghao always yells at me because it's too cold but I like to walk down the street at night and watch the snow. It clears my head," Junhui reached out, grabbing the steering wheel, "That's actually why I was out tonight. Minghao literally blocked the door until I agreed to drive instead of walk. Maybe he was on to something." 

Junhui spared Jeonghan a look that he couldn't read but it still made his heart jump. 

Jeonghan wondered if maybe his car decided to die on the one street Junhui decided to drive down because it could feel the tension in his grip. Maybe the universe told Minghao to force Junhui to drive so he could be here to save Jeonghan from certain hypothermia. 

He never really believed too much in fate. 

But he also never really liked the snow. 

And now, he wanted to run outside and grab some in his hands, thank it for this gift. 

Jeonghan was about to speak, about to dive deeper, but they were interrupted by a loud honking and they both almost jumped clean out of their seats. 

Bright, swirling yellow lights filled the car and while he should be relieved to see the tow truck in front of them, Jeonghan couldn't help but frown. 

"Looks like your ride is here." Junhui smiled. Not nearly as bright as he had before. 

"Yeah. Looks like it." 

"So, this is weird. And please, feel free to say no. I promise I won't be offended. But maybe I could get your numb-"

"Yes."

Jeonghan flushed, he answered far too quickly, as Junhui let out a laugh, loud and bouncing off the car windows. 

"Shut up! Shut," He smacked Junhui's shoulder, the man doubling over, "Up! You make me nervous, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear?" 

"Maybe so." 

Another honk and Jeonghan waved his hand to the truck in front of them, "You're a shit, you know that? But yes, fine, you can have my number." 

The digits were exchanged and as Jeonghan was bundling himself up again, he was thinking of all that was hopefully to come. Of another day with Junhui spent somewhere else than his cramped car. Of basking in not the warmth of a heating system but the warmth of Junhui's smile. 

"Text me when you get home safe, please." Junhui spoke quietly, fingers tapping on the steering wheel again. Maybe it was a nervous habit. Jeonghan hoped to learn that. 

"Thank you," Jeonghan had to say that first, it had been so long since he had heard that type of care in someone's voice, "I will. And thank you for this. For everything. I was fully prepared to spend tonight in misery." 

"I was too." 

Jeonghan paused as he reached for the car handle, looking back to Junhui. Behind his childlike wonder and melodious laughter, there was so much more. What it was, Jeonghan wasn't sure. He wasn't sure it was something he could help, could aid, could slap a bandaid on. Because that wasn't how life worked. 

There were some things that couldn't be fixed. 

But things to be understood. 

"I'll see you soon, Junhui." 

And five weeks later, two days before Christmas, Jeonghan was sitting on his couch. 

Before him, Joshua and Junhui were dancing around a tree that was far too large for their living room but still managed to squeeze in. There was some god awful song playing on the portable speaker Junhui had brought and the tea Wonwoo made was a little burnt. Junhui had a piece of tinsel hanging from his hair, lights tangled around his feet as Joshua was desperately trying to make the tree look even a little bit storybook. 

Wonwoo flopped down next to him, almost spilling his tea but quickly recovering, "You look like you're having a good time." 

"I am." 

"He's really nice, Jeonghan. I'm happy for you. He fits right in." 

Like he was always supposed to be here.

Jeonghan didn't say anything to that. 

He didn't need to.

Instead, he looked out the window and watched the snow falling. It hadn't seemed to stop since they had met each other. 

But Jeonghan didn't mind. 

He took his first midnight walk in the snow three days ago. When Junhui woke up in Jeonghan's bed, tossing and turning. He didn't mean to wake Jeonghan up, he knew that. 

Jeonghan sat up with him, asked him what was wrong. 

"It's loud." Was all he said. 

So, they walked. They walked with their hands clasped and scarves pulled up, jackets swallowing them whole. Jeonghan didn't complain, he barely even felt the cold. 

He just listened. Listened to the nothingness around them.

Just the crunching of snow under the boots, the small breaths Junhui would let out every so often. He understood why Junhui loved winter then. Why this was his escape from whatever was going on inside his mind. Even Jeonghan, with his often peaceful mind and level head, felt at ease as they navigated the snow covered sidewalk.

He didn't fall back asleep when they returned to the apartment, nuzzled under _their_ blankets. 

He turned on his side and watched Junhui. Just as he had been in the car, with the snow falling behind him. He reached out and traced Junhui's face with delicate fingers, drinking him in like apple cider. 

He loved winter and everything that it brought him. 

Jeonghan, in that moment and in every moment with Junhui, ones that had already passed and all of the ones to come, wished spring would never come. 

**Author's Note:**

> my [twitter](https://twitter.com/joshualuvr)
> 
> thank you so much for reading <3


End file.
